When I got married one of my MOH, Arizona, told me that even though I wouldn’t be able to speak at her actual wedding as I wasn’t her MOH she still wanted me to speak at the rehearsal. I spent pretty much the next year and a half tossing around ideas. My favorite ones involved horribly embarrassing stories, as I have QUITE a few of those, but I didn’t think that was the right angle to take. Instead I decided to weave one of Arizona’s favorite things into something short and sweet. This is about 650 words. As usual I’ve changed names :)
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“Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.” That’s what Olaf from Frozen taught us a few years ago. I often sing the movie’s famous song at Arizona at the top of my lungs. Not to her, as someone who can sing might do, but at her. :D Sometimes I wonder why she walked up to me during her freshman year during a UNCW sponsored beach day. I’m sure that when I’m attempting to serenade her she regrets that introduction. I was a senior, in a terrible mood, and as a ginger, already wondering when I needed to reapply sunscreen again.
None of that deterred Arizona. I should mention that I had a literal circle of empty space around me, like my bad mood was a middle school boy fresh from using his Axe body spray in the bathroom. It’s almost as if Snow White whispered in her ear, “Remember, you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine.” That’s what Arizona does; she can connect with the sourest of people and make them smile and laugh again.
I’ve watched her grow from someone who’s never experienced snow or mold growing on shower liners into the most determined person I’ve ever met. Merida said, “There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us; you only have to be brave enough to see it.”
Arizona has that bravery. She moved across the country at eighteen. She’s killing it at her new job and has created a found family between Wilmington and Raleigh that she’ll never let go of. After all, “Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” Even when Arizona and I lived in different cities she didn’t let our friendship suffer from the distance. Arizona’s good like that- when she knows someone she cares about needs help she’s the first to reach out. She wants to be where her people are, no matter what.
That’s why Greens is so perfect for her. No one else in the world is capable of making Greens’s life easier simply by existing. She’s told me before that just being around him melts some of the tension she carries every day. More importantly, he’s the only one who makes her stop thinking. That might not sound like an impressive feat, but I promise, from one anxious woman to you, that deserves its own Disney storyline.
The best part about Arizona and Greens’s story though, is that Greens doesn’t have to parade around on his white horse to be exactly who Arizona needs. She may be a damsel, she may be in distress, but she can usually handle whatever situation comes her way. She needed a best friend who, after an argument, would run through the rain to pound on her front door.
That last part wasn’t Disney. That really happened. It’s proof that even if I quote as many Disney movies as I want, nothing will compare to reality. No one knows if Cinderella drools in her sleep or if Snow White ever got tired of cleaning up after seven men. No one really knows what they’re doing. There’s no magic word to fix an argument or a magic wand to pay mortgage. We stumble through our lives doing the wrong things before learning the right things. If we’re lucky, really, really lucky, we find someone who makes that stumbling a bit easier. Life becomes less about being beaten down and more about standing up. The strength you get from finding someone who loves you for exactly who you are and exactly who you want to be; there’s a magic in that.
